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Open Letter To A True R.E.M. Fan (@thebigm)


Dear @thebigm


Your response to my question as to why I did not like the Austin City Limits video and your sullied response:  “Because you're not a true R.E.M. fan. If you were, you'd have the hand claps video playing on a loop like I do” needs more than the 180 character limit to respond.


Admittedly, I am a true R.E.M. fan, a fan that realizes that holding a device that can capture the sound of “Fingernails on a Chalkboard” combined with a band that is learning to clap shows great prominence as a “Band that is consistently growing and trying new things”.


These are the few moments that I will sit in the corner of the room and weep openly my love for this band, by creating such a sound that will hit the charts and be a major pop record, if they would only fucking tour, because well I have been saving up all my money since the Accelerate tour, bypassing that heart medication, the root canal that I need so that I can tour with them across the globe.


But why the fuck are they trying to ruin my life with no tour?


Is this all I have? This this as well as the pleasure of taking baths in tapioca listening to ‘I’ll Take the Rain’?


I went to Athens this summer. Did you?


I think I saw Stipe 2 blocks away and tried to run after him but I lost my breath. He was bald and I have not read any articles that would suggest there is anyone else in Athens that is bald so it was probably him.


Finally, I did get myself that “Chalkboard” and got some people together and we will be covering what you call “Hand Claps”. It’s an amazing amazing song with so much emotion.